Cardinal Rule for Facilitators
"You must always follow the SGM rules --
except when you intentionally decide not to."
(This saying comes via Rev. Calvin O. Dame from Carl George.)

Facilitators' Responsibilities*
1. Maintain the structure
-- establish format and ground rules
-- start and end meetings on time
-- lead opening and closing rituals
-- check on absent members (to see if they have concerns or need help)

2. Facilitate the process
-- model non-judgmental witnessing and acceptance of opinions
-- allocate and monitor time for checking in and addressing the topic
-- allow time for all to speak, prevent monopoly by any one member
-- delegate some functions thus promoting shared leadership
-- work with co-facilitator or apprentice so groups can split when appropriate, each new group with its own facilitator

3. Work with oversight groups (James Ford, Committee on Ministry, SGM Steering Committee, etc.)
-- attend training sessions, facilitator meetings
-- help to evaluate pilot SGM experience
-- act as liaison, sharing ideas and problems with minister or appropriate others, or communicate with liaison if someone else assumes that role
-- sharing inspirations (potential sermon topics) with James Ford

4. Functions may be delegated. If group members do not do any item in the above list, the facilitator is responsible for doing it..

* From A Small Group Ministry Resource Book for Members of The First Unitarian Society in Newton

The Facilitator's 'Cliff Notes'
The Purpose: Small Group Ministry groups are a way to help people think about their lives spiritually through the process of sharing with others their thoughts and experiences. The results are twofold: they will grow in their understanding of what is personally meaningful at the same time as they build a caring community.

Your Job:
--- start each session promptly
--- calm initial anxieties
--- make expectations clear
--- interpret each assignment
--- help the group share time, gently remind the voluble to listen and the
taciturn to speak
--- end each session promptly

Helpful Hints:
--- don't be afraid of silence
--- don't try to make everything OK
--- enjoy the process, enjoy yourself
--- you can't do it for them

Important Points:
--- remind people at each meeting to ask for confidentiality if they want it
--- everybody needs a turn
--- if someone seems troubled, suggest they seek out James or a lay minister
--- your participation is a model for others
--- you are a member as well as a facilitator

Key Difference: Because SGM groups are not therapy, support, or problem solving groups, the facilitator's role is unique. Our group focus is on listening to and witnessing each other's spiritual growth. Unlike the other facilitator roles, an SGM facilitator is a member of his/her group (with all the member's benefits and responsibilities). The SGM facilitator focuses on facilitating the shared leadership process in a group as much or more than facilitating the group discussion process.


* Adapted from Calvin O. Dame's "Information for Credo Group Leaders" created for New England Leadership School 1992

Skills Used In Effective Facilitation*
Many of the skills you need to be an effective SGM group facilitator, or even just a good participant, you already know and have been practicing for years in other contexts.

The following skills are key to traditional facilitation (e.g. consensus building, problem solving, task completion, etc.). Our hope for SGM facilitators will not be so directive in managing what is said. Instead they will focus on ensuring that everyone has time to say what they wish. The SGM facilitator will most probably need to intervene with these skills only occasionally when it is necessary to help someone out.

o REFLECTING – Feeding back the content and feeling of the message, e.g. "Let me see if I am hearing you correctly…"

o CLARIFYING – Restating an idea or thought to make it easier to grasp, e.g. "What I believe you are saying is…"

o SUMMARIZING – Stating concisely the central themes, e.g. "It sounds to me that we have been talking about a few recurring ideas…"

o SHIFTING FOCUS – Moving gracefully from one speaker, or topic, to another, e.g. "Thank you, John; do you have something to add, Jane?" or "We’ve been talking about this issue for some time now; does anyone have strong feelings about other aspects of the situation?"

o USING SILENCE – Allowing time and space for online reflection, by pausing between comments, e.g. "……….."

o USING NON-VERBAL & VERBAL SIGNALS – Combining body language and speech to communicate, e.g. using eye contact to influence behaviors in the group, and to be aware of cultural differences between participants.


* Adapted from pages 8 & 9 of UU Study/Action Issue - Dialogue Circles: A Guide for Facilitators by Robert M. Sarly; Autumn 1999

Other Tips For Facilitators

A Good Facilitator
o Explains her, or his, role in the SGM process.
o Is self-aware – good facilitators know their own strengths, weaknesses, hot buttons, and biases.
o Appreciates all kinds of people.
o Is committed to democratic principles.
o Starts and ends the SGM group on time.
o Is neutral – the facilitator’s opinions are not used to promote or disparage other's ideas.
o Is helpful to the group in setting up their ground rules.
o Creates opportunities for everyone to participate.
o Focuses and helps clarify the dialogue when needed.
o Is able to stay in two roles at once (remembering that they are both a member and the facilitator of shared leadership in the group), both during and after the SGM session.
o Is able to balance the interests of the group and her/his own interests.
o Intervenes to address behaviors, not personalities.
o Encourages and affirms each participant.
o Participates as a member in the SGM group, modeling group norms.



* Adapted from page 9 of UU Study/Action Issue - Dialogue Circles: A Guide for Facilitators by Robert M. Sarly; Autumn 1999

How To Handle Challenging Situations
Most SGM groups will go smoothly because participants are there voluntarily and have a stake in the program. However there are challenges that occasionally arise in any group process. Here are some of the most common challenges you are likely to encounter together with some suggestions about effective ways to deal with them.

Challenge 1: Certain participants seem shy and don’t say anything.
Suggested Responses: Try to draw out quiet participants, but don’t put them on the spot - it should always be permissible to "pass". Make eye contact – it reminds them that you’d like to hear from them. Look for non-verbal cues that may indicate they are ready to speak. Frequently participants will feel more comfortable in later sessions of a SGM group and will join in then. Some people simply need more time or more quiet time to process their thoughts and feelings. When someone finally does chime in with a brief comment after staying long on the sidelines, you can give encouragement by expressing genuine interest and saying something like, "Please tell me more." It is always helpful to talk informally with people both before and after the formal SGM session.

Challenge 2: An aggressive or talkative person dominates the discussion or interrupts people who are speaking.
Suggested Responses: As facilitator, it is your responsibility to contain and guide domineering participants. Once it becomes clear to you what this person is doing, you MUST intervene and set limits. If you suspect that making eye contact with this person makes her/him feel as though you are encouraging them to speak, then start by limiting your eye contact with them. Remind the group that everyone is invited to participate: "Let’s hear from some folks who haven’t had a chance to speak yet." If necessary you can speak to the talkative person by name, "Charlie, we’ve heard from you. Now let’s hear what some of the others have to offer." Be careful to moderate your comments and tone of voice – you are trying to make a point without offending the dominating person.

Ask the person who constantly interrupts to please stop interrupting by saying, "Our ground rules call for us to listen without interrupting and Pat has not finished yet." You may also need to check-in with the interrupter off-line, since speech patterns can be cultural and the interrupter may not see it as an interruption (they may see it as demonstrating involvement & enthusiasm for what Pat was saying).

Challenge 3: Lack of focus, not moving forward, participants wander off topic.
Suggested Responses: Responding to this challenge takes judgment and intuition. It is the facilitator’s role to help move the dialogue along, but it is not always clear which way it is, or should be, going. Keep an eye on the participants to see how engaged they are, and if you are in doubt, check it out with the group. "We’re a little off topic right now. Would you like to stay with this session plan, or would anyone prefer consider an alternative topic?" If only one participant goes into a lengthy digression you may have to say, "We seem to be wandering off course, and I’d like to make sure others get a chance to speak."

Challenge 4: Someone puts forth information which you know to be false.
Suggested Responses: Ask, "Has anyone heard of conflicting information?" If no one offers a correction, offer one yourself. And if no one knows the facts and the point is not essential, put it aside and move on. If the point is central to the dialogue, encourage members to look up the information before the next meeting. Remind the group that even experts often disagree.

Challenge 5: Lack of interest, no excitement, no one wants to talk, only a few people are actively participating.
Suggested Responses: This rarely happens in SGM groups since members pick the topic. However, if a facilitator talks too much, or does not give people plenty of time to collect their thoughts and respond, members may become silent and passive. People need time to think, reflect and get ready to speak up --- give it to them. Occasionally you might have a lack of excitement in the topic because the group seems to be in agreement or dealing only with the surface issues of the topic. Sometimes members may not feel that discussing a topic is appropriate based on something revealed during check-in. Regardless of the reason, you should check out the appearance of a lack of interest with group members by saying something like, "I'm not sensing much energy in the room for this topic. Do we want to continue with it or talk about something else?" Then close your mouth and wait to hear from several members, not just one. You may need to go around the whole circle in order to get a clear idea of what is going on.

Challenge 6: Tension or open conflict in the group arises, perhaps when two participants lock horns and argue, or when one participant gets angry and confronts another.
Suggested Responses: If there is tension, address it directly. Remind participants that disagreement and conflict of ideas help to clarify one's thinking. Explain that, for conflict to be productive, it must be focused upon the issue, and on the legitimately different ways of viewing it. It is acceptable to challenge someone’s facts, but personal attacks and challenges to personal beliefs are not acceptable. You must interrupt personal attacks, name-calling, or put-downs as soon as they occur. You will be better able to do so if you have established ground rules that prohibit such behaviors and encourage tolerance for all views. Don’t hesitate to appeal to the group for help: if group members bought into the ground rules, they will support you. You may also need to talk one-on-one with the person who engaged in the prohibited behavior.

Challenge 7: One member engages in ax-grinding, telling negative stories about a third party or group who is not in the room.
Suggested Responses: As facilitator, it is your responsibility to contain and guide members who engage in questionable behaviors. You must intervene be saying something like, "I am not comfortable hearing this in this SGM setting. It sounds like something between you and someone who is not here to present their side of the story, and I'm not clear that it relates to the SGM topic we are considering. If it is related, perhaps you could tell us how it is related to the topic without naming names?"

Challenge 8: People start offering unsolicited advice and trying to problem solve for a group member.
Suggested Responses: As facilitator, it is your responsibility to contain and guide members who forget the ground rules of SGM. You must intervene, but you must also use caution here. If people are responding to non-verbal "requests" for advice/help based on information revealed during check-in, it may be appropriate to take time for advice and problem solving (this is, after all, a 'ministry' group). Before you do though, check out the assumptions. Do ask the person assumed to be the requester if they want help and do ask the group explicitly whether they want to take time to deal with the issue.

You may choose to say something like, "Please let me remind the group that our ground rules prohibit offering unsolicited advice. Pat, if you want the group's input, let us know and you can chat with folks after the group session ends." If the issue is a cataclysmic one, the group may choose to abandon its topic time and minister to its members. Usually, however, the "ministry" of the group is focused on witnessing each other's spiritual growth.

Challenge 9: A member uses categorical language or engages in slurs presenting some category of people in a stereotypical way; often this can be presented under the guise of humor.
Suggested Responses: As facilitator, it is your responsibility to contain and guide members who engage in questionable behaviors. You must intervene be saying something like, "I am not comfortable with this sort of language (or humor). It seems to me that it is stereotyping certain people in a negative way that really it not funny to me or them. I hope you will not use it again."

The Nitty-gritty Reference Section for Facilitators

Check-in - Members share what is going on in their lives at the time. This is a brief sharing (perhaps 3 to 5 minutes each) that helps people get to know each other. It is not meant to set up a therapy session, so other members listen without comment or interruption. Affirmation, support or concern may be shown by non-verbal means (e.g. body language, facial expressions, murmurs, clucks, etc.)

Check-out - Members share how they are feeling as they finish the SGM session before the closing words. It's a chance to express appreciation or express desires for the next session.

Confidentiality - Groups are not private societies. They should remain open to visitors and additional members as needed. Don't assume that what you say in a group will be kept confidential; specifically request confidentiality if you want it.

Facilitator - Facilitators are chosen and trained to facilitate the SGM group's process. Their role is different from the role a traditional facilitator plays in problem solving, task-oriented, or therapy / support groups. Unlike the other roles, an SGM facilitator is a member of his/her group (with all the member's benefits and responsibilities). The SGM facilitator focuses on facilitating the shared leadership process in a group as much or more than facilitating the group discussion process. Co-facilitators or facilitator/apprentice relationships are encouraged. Facilitators meet periodically for training and support.

First Meetings - The facilitator calls the first meeting of a group. They set the day and time according to the predetermined requirements of the group. The first meeting is usually at the facilitator's home. Subsequent meetings are at the homes of members who volunteer to host the group.

Format - The format below should be followed by all groups:
Opening Ritual (candle lighting)
Opening Words (solo, in unison, or responsive reading)
Check-in
Topic (read topic notes to focus members, and then start the sharing process. Everyone should be allowed to share uninterrupted except for questions of clarification before discussion is allowed.)
Select the topic and location for the next meeting
Check-out
Closing Words (and extinguish candle)

Ground Rules - Ground rules for the group members' relationships and interaction. Groups are encouraged to consider service to the congregation or the wider community a part of their covenant to develop a sense of community and spirituality.(During the pilot of SGM, we ask that no one change any of the basic ground rules. You may add, but not change or delete. These will be assessed as part of the pilot experience)

Host Home - The home of the member hosting the group meeting. The space should have room for all members to sit comfortably in a circle. Refreshments are prohibited (see refreshments). Directions for travel and parking should be shared with all other members in advance of the meeting.

Leadership - see facilitator.

Refreshments - SGM host home rules forbid refreshments. Having the gatherings in member's homes is a way to get to know each other and is not intended to create a burden of food preparation and clean-up for the host. Talk about various host's refreshments could distract from the group's purpose. If members wish to drink water, they should bring a sport bottle of water to the meeting.

Size - SGM groups are intended to fit comfortably in a member's home when seated in a circle. Most homes can accommodate 8 people, so the limit is set at eight. When a group grows to ten, the creation of another group should begin.

Time Use - Initially groups should allow for the following: 5 minutes for opening ritual (candle lighting) and words; 30 for check-in (~3.5 minutes each for 8 members); 70 for the topic discussion (~ 9 minutes for each of 8 members); and 15 minutes for check-out, selection of the next topic and meeting place, and closing words. Groups may vary these proportions according to their needs.

Topics - Session plans are presented in the blue-covered Small Group Ministry Resource Book. Members of groups pick discussion topics from this book in advance of their next meeting to allow people time to reflect. Members may add session plans to the book by forwarding the session plans to the SGM Steering Committee for review and inclusion.

Topic Selection - This process should not take more than 5 minutes of the group's time. It may be done by super majority vote (e.g. 75% in favor); by multi-voting; by drawing numbers from a hat; by giving each group member an opportunity to choose a topic that interests them; etc. The idea is to assure that every member's interests will get addressed